Aphorisms on Signs

Well, we’ve had God’s aphorisms, as seen on church billboards. Now it’s time for everyman’s aphorisms, as seen on signs hung in or outside places of business. Though some of these may be apocryphal, they all are pretty amusing…

At a gynecologist’s office:
Dr. Jones, at your cervix.

On a plumber’s truck:
We repair what your husband fixed.

On another plumber’s truck:
Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

On an electrician’s truck:
Let us remove your shorts.

On a maternity ward door:
Push! Push! Push!

At an optometrist’s office:
If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.

Outside a muffler shop:
No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

In front of a funeral home:
Drive carefully. We’ll wait.