Aphorisms by Hart Pomerantz
Hart Pomerantz was almost expelled from his Jewish parochial school for asking if smelling pork was also a sin. He studied philosophy, then went into criminal law, and in 1968 met fellow-Canadian Lorne Michaels, creator and producer ofSaturday Night Live. The two became partners in show biz comedy. In 1969, Pomerantz went to Hollywood and wrote jokes for Laugh-In as well as for comedians such as Woody Allen, Bob Newhart and Joan Rivers. He did turns on TV with a Canadian show similar to Saturday Night Live and another program,This Is The Law. Now he practices employment law and, he confesses, is “addicted to writing aphorisms. I am trying to find a treatment center for rehab. I tried AA but was informed it was not Aphorisms Anonymous.” A selection of the choicest Pomerantz:
The tip of the iceberg is all that’s left.
When driving south we are passing through the futures of those driving north.
Prayer begins with our hands together and ends with our hands out.
Praying to God for help is like calling 911 and being put indefinitely on hold.
The sooner the world comes to an end, the sooner we can start over again.
Conquering the world is exciting, but managing it is tedious.
In a perfect world, the woman would also fall asleep after sex.